Saturday, October 31, 2009

Blogimental

The last entry I had was July 26th. That was a long time ago. Some, might even wonder what happened? Why have I not written anything new? But for most, nobody even comes to my blog, so I doubt anyone would even care. I choose to write on my blog, not only as a way of self therapy, but also to keep in touch with family and friends with the latter being the primary reason. However, recently, even my mom now knows how to use facebook. I am really proud of her for being so in tuned with the progress of cyberspace. A lot of moms out there don't even have an email account, but not my mom, she even have her own blog. Again she has proven herself to be ever versatile and dynamic. She keep true to her words, "Joey, nobody is stupid. What differentiate the stupid and smart people is the effort to learn". So the need to keep her updated with writings on my blog seems somewhat irrelevant as she now reads my status on my facebook profile and seems to participate in the comments a lot.

My sisters, my friends and office mates have facebook accounts too. This sudden change in cyber social activity changed the perception that technology separates people. Technology like facebook now strengthen the bonds of friends, increase envy within coworkers and foster the love within families. My particular facebook activity increases everyday, as more of the people I know and love uses facebook just as much as I do. Hence, the fun and luster of writing a blog seems to fade away.

Being in an institution that cares too much on what you say, writing a blog seems to be less interesting. I should have remained anonymous, cause then I can write what ever I want. But now, I feel like i have to shut myself up from writing acerbic stuff about the world. As arrogant and sarcastic as I am, I get no satisfaction from people trying to discredit me just because of my different views. A lot of people do not appreciate diversity. So I will try to comply with the norm of the world, being a mediocre boring arse in the monotonous cog wheels of society. Hence, I write only non controversial stuff.

Much of these days I spend my time doing research. It's about the only thing that keeps me excited and sometimes even euphoric. I know to some its boring, but one, like myself, can get lost in the world of what if this and that, that seems to linger in my head.

I have contemplated about closing this blog and quit blogging altogether. But, after thinking about it, i might keep it for a few more years. The thing is, this blog, is more than just a tool to keep family and friends updated.

"It is a history of my life, a collection of my thoughts organized in chronological order. It is the very essence of my individuality.

As I foresee, my inevitable future is to be one of the drones of society.
I feel myself assimilating into the collective behavior.
I feel myself getting lost in the thick hay stack.
I feel myself being just one of the pebble stones in the river.
Slowly becoming a grain of sand in the desert of swiveling dunes and disfigured sand domes.

Someday I'm sure I will lose myself in this monotony.
What was once colorful, will be dithered away into monochromatic halftones.

Eventually, the only way to save myself would be this blog, to remind myself, that a person did exist. To give me a chance to find my way back home. To look back of where I came from, and pick up the bread crumbs to return in shape and form of the person that I have always been...."

There you go, sentimental views about my blog....aka....blogimental.
Hopefully, I'll have more updates in the futre, but it will be irregular updates from now on.
Take care my family and friends, and see you on facebook.