Thursday, November 17, 2005

I need someone to fund my PhD.

I now feel that my dreams to do my PhD. might stay a dream for much a longer time or even forever. My enthusiasm have never been lower, after yesterday's interview with the Uitm Intelligent System's faculty members from the Faculty of Science Technology and Quantitative.

A few weeks back, with excitement and eagerness, I wrote my Research Proposal for my PhD. to prepare myself for the Uitm Tenaga Pengajar Muda (Young Lecturers Skim) application. The skim will help fund my education, with of course the agreement that I will have to work for Uitm as a lecturer for the next 10 years. But that didn't matter, cause I just want my PhD. I was very excited that they actually called me for an interview after submitting my application. I thought that I might have a chance, since I've chosen a unique topic that was concentrated to researching Bilingual use of English and Malay to be fed into an AI engine for experts systems (at least, I thought it was unique). I am utterly discourage after yesterday's Uitm Interview and am now trying to pull myself together and not discourage myself to find other means in finding ways to fund for my education.

They told me that the Interview starts at 9 am. Knowingly that Professors hate students who are late to come to class, I made sure I was there at least 30 minutes before the interview. I centainly don't want to make them pissed-off by reminding them that students who are late are irresponsible. When I arrived, there were people by the hundreds waiting for their turn for an interview. Some for Master's, others for PhD and some for different fields of study--other than Intelligent Systems. For Intelligent Systems, there were about 25 Master's candidates, and about 10 PhD candidates.

They started the Interview with Master's candidate. Each candidate had a 30 minutes chance to convince the Panel that they should be selected. It was terribly hot waiting at the corridor for my turn and being formally dressed with a tie doesn't help at all. I want to look good during the interview. After three hours of waiting, I'm starting to look like a sweating pig. And that made me even more nervous, and I'm worried that I might have the BO smell when I get into the interviewing room.

Finally, the Panel showed their faces at about noon and told us that the interview will continue after lunch at 2 pm. I made a few friends while waiting for my turn. A PhD candidate Zul from Melaka, and Azmi a guy from Bangi. Both are smart and have been in the academic field ever since they were a featus. and after talking to them, I realize that my research ain't so unique after all. Everybody had a unique Research Proposal and some of them even took 6 months to 1 year preparing for this moment.

Finally lunch time was over, and I was there waiting again in the hot corridor together with Zul and Azmi and other PhD and Master's candidates. The panel suddenly decided to change the interviewing style--3 candidates at a time. I was shock, cause now I'll be exposing my not so unique research paper with 2 other strangers. Finally, my turn came and I had to enter the room with two other women candidates. I passed my credentials and Research Proposal to the panel of 3 people. They flip through my credentials and just took a 2 second look at my research proposal. In a round robbin manner they asked us about our credential. About our research and after 10 minutes it was over. They didn't even bothered to look at our Research Proposal in depth. The Proposal that I spent the whole night trying to make it better. The Proposal that I've been working to make sure that everything was in place.

All of us left the room with perplexed feelings. What was that all about? Was that an Interview. It was more like an Interview for a job as a sales rep. in Giant supermarket. I guess there goes my chances to get Uitm to fund my Phd. Sad but not discourage, I'll have to look for other options now.....

But the good thing about that day is that Emil got 5A in his UPSR exams. I'm really proud of him for doing soo well. He also said thank you to me for teaching him science. I told him that I never really thought him science that much. Then he said, he remembered me telling him that science is not like other subjects, where you read, memorize, practice and understand. In science it starts with "Imagination, then one will understand.". I guess that had a strong impact on him. And I am glad that I got a little credit for his success. Though, most of the credit goes to his mother, my sister, Leilanie. Read all about it in her blog....

8 comments:

  1. May the force stay with you. I have faith in you and I know you are not easily discouraged! :)

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  2. My dear brother Joey,
    never be discouraged by the "system" which the government (semi-g) goes by. It's a bunch of crap sometimes, much to our amazement.

    If another opportunity comes by, grab it and you'll probably go through this whole sweat-like-a-pig session again. But, at the mercy of the government, for the sake of earning the PhD.... hey, why not?!

    You're a warrior, Joey.... and a good one. You'll never give up, you will never surrender...... You will pursue the impossible till you hit your target, till you reach your destiny.

    And Joey - thank you for the Science coaching you gave Emillio (see my post, at the "comment" section - we used the same word, "imagination". Thanks, bro.

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  3. Joey,

    have you tried to submit your proposal to European Universities? I reckon it's an interesting topic, and they might take you in. Cognitive Engineering is blooming here nowadays. Give it a try.

    Good luck!

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  4. Thanks for the advice shelly. But see, I couldn't possibly afford being in the UK. I would really love to go there. The nice climate, the adventure and the cutting-edge technology that they have there. It's just the best place to go for AI. There is so much to see and learn. Unfortunately, the government is adverse to giving scholarships to students who wants to go to the UK. Its a different Malaysia today, Malaysia now are very prudent.:(

    But wait, I'll try to buy a lottery ticket this weekend, who knows, luck could be on my side:)

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  5. Need money, try asking from Tajuddin (Mas ex-boss), he has tons and tons of them (money), or try Eric Chia (ex-boss of Perwaja steel), he also has tons and tons of them. Or this person who carries millions and millions around in his brief case, Mohd. mohd Taib. what abuot Halim Said, he too has lots of money.
    Another bet is Ling H L. the son of Tun Ling Leong Sik, who sits on the board of more than 20 companies at a tender age of about 28 (correct me if I am wrong).
    Or one last chance, the Police Dept, where all the "daily taxes" go to. They are apparently richer than the Indand Revenue, because instead of collecting taxes on an annual basis; the Police are collecting on a daily basis. The news have it that they are much more efficient than the Inland Revenue in term of collection. Most people pay up to the Police and not the Inland revenue; and good thing - the citizens pay "happily and willingly". Well, of course if they do not pay, they may need to do ear-squart in nude (don't play play oh.....malu oh....) which many would not do.
    Try getting money from the Police lah....they are RICH !
    Besides I was told that they not only collect "taxes" from Malaysian, but they also collect "taxes" from people of different countries - especially tourist. Of late, the Police has collect quite a huge sum of money from China ( I mean chinese girls lah...ai ya).
    See ...I believe they are richer than Inland REVENUE, and of course a lot richer than your UiTm (o....want to vomit....).

    So friend, what say you? Good luck lah...I also need $$$$$$$ lah...sh*t!!!...life really su*ks without $$$$$$$$$$$.

    Hey, bro...you can be my good friend lah...I like your attitude, you ada style....
    Ah Bong

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  6. Hi Ah Bong,

    Yes, I do need money. But the people you mentioned above are all selfish unscrupulous beings. I doubt that they will do any kind of social obligation to the Malaysian society, what more a Malaysian individual like myself. And yes, the police are doing day light robbery on the Malaysian citizens, and its making the whole economy suffer by reducing consumer spending thus affecting our overall GDP.

    Your ex-bosses are useless Malaysians, instead of making a name for Malaysia, these people are just plain pirates and gangsters. How can we be a civilized nation, if our great businessmen are pirates and gangsters. It 's like a show from smallville, where Evil genius Lex Luthor control the business world. But our villains are just lain stupid. What's worse, our government and our people, seem to not only ignore this people, but even support them at times, maybe it is out of pity due to their stupidity.

    Yes, I am worried about how Malaysia spends money these days. Projects that are created to give money to a son of a political figure or something of that sort.

    What's worse, alot of high ranking jobs today are given to non-Malaysian. You know, jobs like Directors, Managers and stuff. The ahmoh and foreigners are given jobs to people who can't even find a job at their own homeground. I guess, we still have the post-colonial thinking that whites are better.

    And furthermore, business that are being given to people who are not capable and inexperience. Like the Tun's son who sits in over 20 companies, and he is just 28 or something. What kind of experience can he possibly have....other than milking off daddy.

    So, you asked me to ask them for money Ah Bong, they can't even think about doing something good for the good of the many, why do something good for me. They only know how to do something good for their greed.

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  7. ya lah bro, you are right...all these are hopeless people who shame Malaysia onli.
    And about the Police I agree with you, they are all God Damn Police (GDP). What can I say...we onli can see and cannot do much...die lah like this...where got cure to our economic.
    Have to wait for some milica lah...
    ok lah...you slowli save some money lo...good luck bro.
    If one day I got rich, I can help you lah...a bit no problem.
    I like people who like to study hard,only people like you can correct all the wrongs in this country. Malaysia needs more morally correct beings like you. I am proud of you lah bro...

    Take care,
    Ah Bong

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  8. Ah Bong,

    I'm just trying to be a man. Not trying to be a great man. So be proud of me when I have done something great. For now, I am just a normal being. So when are you going to be rich. I'm taking your word for it. So when you are rich, I'll be there with a pen to help you sign your check book:) Wo deng ni....shenme shihou, ni hendou qian, wo kan ni haa?

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