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"This is my final lap in DHIT, joey", uttered my former CEO and friend, En. Zul when he brought me for a nice lunch in One Utama after a meeting with Solsis. I have so much respect for the guy, and I was sad to see him go. I never understood what he meant by that emotionally, or understand what he was feeling at that moment in time. I was just glad that I don't have to be in the office and even more happy to accompany him to buy some jazz CD's and window shopping for high-end stereo system. But I could see that his mind was wandering, else-where.
Today, is my final lap in DHIT and for the last few days, I've been slowly picking up my personal belongings to bring it home. The picture attached is my last table in DHIT. As you can see, I've stacked my books to be conveniently picked up when i walk home that evening. As i gather my stuff, nostalgic memories of all my old-timer company friends who used to be here flash through my mind.
Dr. Yusseri, Ami, Jeffry, Pian, Abah, Muniq, Arfa and Yukhairi....and the fun times we had covering each other in the office, playing computer games and troubleshooting hacking attempts by outsiders. Then I remembered how we brought in other members of the DHIT family. Abah and I personally wrote the test questions and tested their exams. Smart people and people I've learned to love as friends along the way.
Megat, Mokhtar, Amran, Hakim, Fiza, Yati, Syirman, Apai, Arina, Ju and Aida. These are all technical people that I thought had their own skill set and potentials. Once, in DHIT, I had hoped that they would carry our Linux philosophy and learned our culture. I also thought alot about those who have done so much for us,
Kak Nik, Kak Ayat, Suria, Fiza, Kak Intan, Pasita, Fairul and Ina. Then, it struck me, I'm missing them already.
Maybe, that was what En. Zul was thinking before he left. Maybe, this is what he meant by, "this is my final lap in dhit, joey". Maybe this is what he was feeling while making his last turn towards the exit lane. I can't be certain what was going through En. Zul's mind at that moment. But for me, it is a feeling of despair, a feeling you get when leaving your family for a long time, a feeling so unfamiliar which resides between happiness and sadness.
It's not leaving the job that I hate, it's the feeling of leaving your friends. I feel that a little bit of me is in everything in DHIT. The server's that I have configured, the codes, the papers, the presentations and the manuals that I have written, the chairs that I have sat, the tables that I have used and the people that I have touched. And I would definitely take time to pull myself together at my new job before I can live without a day thinking about it all.
Suddenly, En. Zul's anology of Formula 1 race track makes sense to me now, because to think of it, life is just like a racing track. You go round and round the same track for a while, making your share of friends and enemies and every racer always have to make the turn on next corner or else they will crash. But when you reach your last lap, you have to take the exit lane. Separate yourself from the other racers and then later start on a totally new race, a totally new track, with totally new racers, making monotonous rounds again, gaining some friends and enemies again, while absorbing every knowledge and experience along the way.
Sure my new job in Mimos would have a lot to offer. A permanent job, a scholarship fund for my PhD and the other medical benefits. But it will never get to buy the friends and experienced I have gotten from DHIT. And that's about the only thing, I am greatful to be apart of DHIT. Stealing En. Zul's famous words of wisdom, "This is my final lap in DHIT, fellow colleagues and friends". Thank you for your friendship.