Discredited

This is going to be a few entries about my life experiences. I will try to write minute pieces of my past as I remember them, while growing up in each entry.

A lot of us get discredited sometimes. It's meant to belittle our work, effort or talents. We hear it often, but we usually do not care much when it is about others.

But in our personal lives, being discredited is sometimes painful to hear. I remember when I was 9 years old. I was a late bloomer so I didn't know my ABCs and I didn't know how to read. I was always the last 5 in class because I couldn't possibly read the questions in the exam papers. I memorize the shape and order of letters to answer questions, which of course would read out nothing but nonsense. But one thing I was good at was math. It was the only thing that made sense to me at that time. I could do math because there is nothing to read. All I had to do was to understand how the numbers are affected by the symbols "+", "-","x", or "/". When the results for the math exams came out, a teacher came up to me and asked me, "Are you Rizal". I said, yes. Then she asked, "Betulker awak yang dapat markah penuh?" (Is it true that you got full marks?". I said I don't know, cause the results was not out yet. She said only two people got a 100 in the whole school, and then she asked me if I had copied the other chinese student(lets say Siew Yen) and where was I sitting at that time. Confuse by her remarks, I just told her I don't know any Siew Yen in my class. Then she realized that I was from a different class. She asked me again, "what is your classroom name?". I told her it was 3 Merah. She was shocked. I was from the worst class of standard 3, and yet I got a 100. Disbelief, she told me, "You are lucky".

I was hurt, cause it had nothing to do with luck. At least not for my math exams. For the other papers that would require me to read, it was pure luck. Even though I didn't know how to read, I have always managed to get around 50%, and that is what I call luck. Luck is when I was still able to write a few sentences to answer a question without knowing how to read. Luck is being able to infer what the questions were from pictures and diagrams and select similar words from other parts of the exam papers that would help my inferences. Luck is the ability to select a few random words from the paper itself, reorder them to look something that looks like an answer and got it half right. Of course more than half of the time, i wrote nonsense. But nobody suspected that I didn't know how to read. They just thought I was stupid.

But when I was discredited for something I was good at, I was hurt. In math, everything was clear to me, and it was definitely not luck. I knew every single question and knew how to answer them. It was just sad that a teacher who was suppose to encourage me, choose to discredit me instead. If she had investigated further, she would have found out that I suffered minor dyslexia.

Lucky for me, mom was a better teacher. I went home with all my exams papers graded. Though most of them were with bad grades, she was nonetheless proud of my 100 in math. She wondered why my answers doesn't make any sense for the other papers. It'a as if I was answering something totally different. It is as if, I purposely wrote something wrong. It is as if I didn't understand the question at all. She then investigated my weaknesses and came up with a theory of her own. Her theory was that I was bad at reading. She tested her theory by forcing me to read out loud the questions in my exam papers. She was surprised to find out that I could not read at all. Not a single word. I remembered, mom saying, "Don't tell me you don't know how to read. Do you really don't know how to read? or are you refusing to read". I remember her scolding me, shouting, "READ JOEY, READ.....what does that say....", and I just mumbled, refusing to show my handicap in reading cause both of my sisters were such good readers. They were reading novels by the time they were 8.

Of course when she realized that I couldn't read at all, she was disappointed. But it was an "Aha" moment for her. She was just amazed that I could still write some nonsense down without even knowing how to read. Lucky for me, mom wasted no time. She rolled up her sleeve and spent the next few weeks teaching me how to read.

Today, I can write though still hate reading. Some even say that I'm not such a bad writer. Well, thank you mom. Without you, I would still be playings crayons drawing pictographs in my room.

More stories to come later.....about historical past.

Blogimental

The last entry I had was July 26th. That was a long time ago. Some, might even wonder what happened? Why have I not written anything new? But for most, nobody even comes to my blog, so I doubt anyone would even care. I choose to write on my blog, not only as a way of self therapy, but also to keep in touch with family and friends with the latter being the primary reason. However, recently, even my mom now knows how to use facebook. I am really proud of her for being so in tuned with the progress of cyberspace. A lot of moms out there don't even have an email account, but not my mom, she even have her own blog. Again she has proven herself to be ever versatile and dynamic. She keep true to her words, "Joey, nobody is stupid. What differentiate the stupid and smart people is the effort to learn". So the need to keep her updated with writings on my blog seems somewhat irrelevant as she now reads my status on my facebook profile and seems to participate in the comments a lot.

My sisters, my friends and office mates have facebook accounts too. This sudden change in cyber social activity changed the perception that technology separates people. Technology like facebook now strengthen the bonds of friends, increase envy within coworkers and foster the love within families. My particular facebook activity increases everyday, as more of the people I know and love uses facebook just as much as I do. Hence, the fun and luster of writing a blog seems to fade away.

Being in an institution that cares too much on what you say, writing a blog seems to be less interesting. I should have remained anonymous, cause then I can write what ever I want. But now, I feel like i have to shut myself up from writing acerbic stuff about the world. As arrogant and sarcastic as I am, I get no satisfaction from people trying to discredit me just because of my different views. A lot of people do not appreciate diversity. So I will try to comply with the norm of the world, being a mediocre boring arse in the monotonous cog wheels of society. Hence, I write only non controversial stuff.

Much of these days I spend my time doing research. It's about the only thing that keeps me excited and sometimes even euphoric. I know to some its boring, but one, like myself, can get lost in the world of what if this and that, that seems to linger in my head.

I have contemplated about closing this blog and quit blogging altogether. But, after thinking about it, i might keep it for a few more years. The thing is, this blog, is more than just a tool to keep family and friends updated.

"It is a history of my life, a collection of my thoughts organized in chronological order. It is the very essence of my individuality.

As I foresee, my inevitable future is to be one of the drones of society.

I feel myself assimilating into the collective behavior.

I feel myself getting lost in the thick hay stack.

I feel myself being just one of the pebble stones in the river.

Slowly becoming a grain of sand in the desert of swiveling dunes and disfigured sand domes.

Someday I'm sure I will lose myself in this monotony.

What was once colorful, will be dithered away into monochromatic halftones.

Eventually, the only way to save myself would be this blog, to remind myself, that a person did exist. To give me a chance to find my way back home. To look back of where I came from, and pick up the bread crumbs to return in shape and form of the person that I have always been...."

There you go, sentimental views about my blog....aka....blogimental.

Hopefully, I'll have more updates in the futre, but it will be irregular updates from now on.

Take care my family and friends, and see you on facebook.

Running to the beat.

I have not been running for a while now. Particularly, because I feel that there is not enough hours in a day. If I run one hour, that means I'll be twice as tired, need extra rest, sleep and definitely lose one hour--most of the time wasting it anyways--which I could have instead done something more useful. I thought taking a break from a running will give me some extra time to concentrate on my prelims, but it seems that I am just getting even lazier than usual. It all started when my old Reebok running shoes got totally worned out and torned.

Needless to say, it was time for me to look for a new shoe. The criteria for this new shoe is that:

1) Must be a running shoe

2) Good ventilation, good cushion and very light

3) Not pink in color and does not look like a girls shoe

4) and most important, must be able to support my Ipod Nike+ running sensor.

So the shoe I got was the "Nike Air Max Moto+ 6". This shoe was the cheapest shoe I could find in the Nike outlet store that supported the Ipod running sensor. And it looked decent. Not exactly the most stylish shoe around but good enough to not get a ticket by the fashion police. The shoe is also light enough, feel very comfortable--though i prefer the previous reebok I had-- and it has enough holes for nice ventilation(which is important to make sure your feet gets enough air circulation to avoid it from smelling really terrible like a rotting cat carcass).

The nice thing about the shoe is that you can take out the cushion insoles, and there is a slot for your nike+ running sensor on the shoe soles. You can slide your running sensor nicely in the slot, and you can then put back the cushion insoles nicely. Hence, making the sensor practically integrated into the shoe. Now after all that, I can't wait to wake up early in the morning, to put on my Ipod, selecting all my power songs and running to the beat.

Berani kerana sengkek.

Lama sungguh tidak diupdate blog ku ini. Sejak dua menjak nie, memang sering sibuk. Selain dari kerja research yang harus dibuat, ader juga hobi baru sekarang nie, yang mengambil masa dari activity blogging. Antara hobi yang terbaru ini ialah hobi menjadi mekanik kereta. Ada juga hobi hiking, hobi rock-climbing, hobi berjogging, hobi swimming, tetapi, hari ini, nak cerita pasal hobi menjadi mekanik kereta.

Hobi mekanik kereta ini bukan lah sesuatu yang datangnya dari minat. Tetapi datangnya secara tak sengaja. Mulanya begini, pada suatu hari jumaat yang lepas, saya mengambil masa untuk menghantar kereta ku untuk diservis. Sudah lama kereta ku ini tidak diservis. Kalau tengok ikut mileage, memang sudah tiba masa untuk masuk ke bengkel untuk menukar minyak hitam. Pagi itu, setelah memanaskan, saya mula berjalan ke bengkel berdekatan untuk menukar minyak hitam. Elok pagi itu juga, kereta ku mula merengek. Ada pula bunyi pelik dekat tayar. Tapi saya tak layan perangai mengada-ngada kereta ku, dah terus berjalan ker bengkel.

Sampai dibengkel, ku sampaikan hajatku ke mekanik orang putih tersebut untuk menukar minyam hitam kereta ku. Sambil itu, ku arahkan mekanik tersebut untuk tengok kan ape yang kereta ku itu sibuk merengek dibahagian tayar. Seteleh diangkat kereta ku, mekanik tersebuk turun dibawah kereta dengan penyuluh lampu dan kembali dengan kerut-kerut di dahi sambil senyum cover line. Saya dapat rasakan yang mekanik ini sudah tahu banyak benda yang perlu ditukar dan inilah peluangnya untuk mengetuk licin pocket mamat melayu nie. Apa yang diperhatikan mekanik tersebut ialah break pad depan kereta telah haus. Jadi itulah punca merengek kereta itu. Tambah lagi katanya, disc break rotor di tayar belakang sudah habis berkarat dan tidak ader grip, sambil break padnya juga sudah haus. Semua ini perlu ditukar katanya. Saya menyuruh mekanik tersebut membuat anggaran cost untuk membaiki semua yang rosak. Setelah sepuluh minit, dia kembali dengan anggaran sebanyak USD150 utk break pad dibahagian depan, dan USD300 utk menukar disc rotor dan break pad dibahagian belakang.

Tanpa termasuk servis, sudah USD450. Terkejut beruk saya, tetapi masih buat tenang. Saya kata, tunggu sebentar, kena pulang rumah tanya tuan rumah dulu. Saya ni tukang hantar kereta sahaja untuk diservis. Jadi mekanik tadi dengan kecewa, mengatakan, baiklah, dengan berat hati dia melepaskan saya dengan harapan akan kembali untuk menukar semua masalah break.

Setelah pulang, bermula lah hobi saya sebagai mekanik. Puas saya google untuk mencari tutorial. Terutamanya, utk menukar break pad dan disc break rotor. Semua nie sebab saya nie dah sengkek, tak sanggup nak bayar mekanik USD450. Kalau dulu takut benar untuk membuka screw kereta, tapi kerana nak jimat punya pasal, kenalah berani.

Setelah beberapa tutorial online, dan merasa yakin. Saya pergi mendapatkan alat-alat untuk membuat kerja mekanik ini sendiri. Saya beli, jack stand (bukan jack kereta, ini sudah default ader dalam kereta) supaya boleh jack kereta dan biar kereta landing dan berdiri atas dua kaki jack stand ini. Dengan adernya jack stand, bolehlah saya duduk bawah kereta membaiki apa-apa yang patut tanpa risau jack kereta tergelincir, gagal ataupun jatuh. Juga dibeli beberapa spanar untuk membuat kerja. Semua cost tersebut, termasuk break pad ceramic untuk depan dan belakang, hanya lebih kurang USD180.

Setelah tukar break pad tayar depan, minat pula saya untuk membetulkan kereta sendiri. Keesokkannya pula, saya membaiki disc break tayar belakang dan tukar break pad. Puas hati juga dapat membetulkan kereta sendiri. Selama nie tak tahu bukan nya susah sangat untuk membuat kerja mekanik ini sendiri.

Inilah Disc break kereta saya yang dah habis berkarat. Hanya separuh jer yang dicengkam, separuh lagi, dibahagian luar disc break habis dah jadi rapuh bersisik-sisik dengan karat. Sebelum masuk musim sejuk, kena lah tukar. Kalau tak, bahaya, kerana jalan licin dan campuran salji dengan garam yang ditabur untuk mencairkan salji akan menyebabkan karat ini menjadi lebih teruk. Oleh yang demikian, bahagian disc break rotor dan break pad kereta ini kena lah ditukar dengan segera. Barulah saya faham aper yang dimaksudkan mekanik tu dulu. Ingat kan nak ketuk saya jer.

Tapi dia ketuk part labor cost dan parts tu rasanya dia markup lah 100%. Yang puas hati bila buat sendiri, kita dapat pilih sendiri parts tu dari kedai dan tahu quality aper yang kita nak letak. Contohnya, untuk tayar belakang nie, saya pakai standard metalic base break pads. Tapi yang belah depan, saya pakai ceramic break pads. Ceramic break pads nie best, lebih senyap dan bersih tanpa habuk. Ini penting sebab tayar depan nie lah yang break banyak buat kerja untuk bentikan keta. Kalau pakai metalic base, banyak habuk lah dan bising pula bila kita break kuat. Tambah pula sebab habuk yang banyak, kena lah cuci tayar kereta selalu.

Kalau boleh, untuk disc break rotor belakang nie nak pakai yang mahal punya sikit. Tapi aper nak buat, nak jimat. Jadi saya beli lah yang standard punya disc break rotor. Janji ader warranty 2 tahun, dan tahan karat. Ader juga disc break rotor yang lagi murah, tapi takut tak tahan lah pulak. Ader juga disc break rotor yang cantik, siap ader lubang-lubang perhiasan untuk prestasi breaking yang hebat. Tapi yerlah, bukannya saya nak bawak racing. Bawak gie berjalan jer. Jadi buat masa nie cukup lah dengan standard rotor jer.

Kent State U Climbing Gym

I have started a new hobby while I'm here. My new hobby is doing more sports, so that I can stay fit and happy. How is doing sports can possibly make one happy? Well, supposedly, more workout, produces more endorphins and endorphins suppose to make you happy[1]. So I have done a lot of running, swimming, trekking, bowling and the most recent one, rock climbing.

The thing with rock climbing is you need at least one friend to belay you as you climb the rock. Fortunately, recently, I managed to "racun" (coerced) my friend to start rock climbing. After much resistance, he eventually gave up and succumbed to my constant sales pitch about how cool rock climbing would be.

So we went to rock climbing gym in Kent State U, and started to register to take the examination for license to climb. We had a 30 minute safety instructions course, and the next day, we were ready to climb. The gym has a few nice beginner walls as well as some pretty challenging walls. Some are artificial holds (a point where you can hold on to, which could be a rock or a crack on a rock), and some are natural holds (not really natural, just meant to look like a real rock rather than something protuding out of the wall). Aside from the walls, they do have a nice bouldering rock with a nice overhang setup to test your upside down cliff hanger skills. Of course they provide cushions underneath the overhang just incase you fall. The picture above shows the boulder rock.

After about a few climbs, we decided to go check out some gears at a outdoor store. I have most of the rock climbing equipment, but I do not have a nice belaying device. I preferred using the figure of 8 before, but for some reason, using an ATC would be easier for my climbing buddy to start learning how to belay me. So I bought a sports ATC that would be easier to belay. A sports ATC is like any other ATC except that it is only for one rope. Hence, it can't be used for rappelling and it is mostly used only for sport climbs. However, because its small, and only for one rope, it seems to balance better while you are belaying. And it makes you perform better while you are belaying. Plus it gives you the needed friction, with the ridges at the opening. Of course, when it comes to climbing equipment, I prefer to use Black Diamond stuff. So previously I've bought a Black Diamond harness, Black Diamond Carabiner and a Black Diamond figure of 8, well now I got a Black Diamond, silver colored sports ATC[2]. I bought it at the Appalachian outfitters[3] which was about 20 minutes away from Kent.

Other than that, I also got myself a nice climbing/hiking pants. When choosing a climbing pants, its important that its light, and also flexible. So I got myself the North Face Meridian surplus convertible pants[4]. This long pants can be converted to shorts when you want it to by unzipping it at the knee. The nicest thing about it, is the material. It is superlight, and the material gives you freedom in movement. Plus, its also very breathable. It dries up superfast and makes your figure looks great. Okay, the last one is just an exaggeration. But, unfortunately, it was hard finding a size for me. Since the pants here are made for Americans. Minimum inseam is 32, and minimum waist is 30. So its hard for me, since my inseam is 30 and my waist is 28. I had to go to the boys section to find a pants that fit me. So in the US, I'm still a little boy.

I hope eventually, I will get to climb the rocks outdoors. There are some beautiful places around, but its been a while since I've climb, so I need to warm up first before I go out climbing and bouldering. However, in preparation, I need to drink a lot of water. And because I'm an outdoor lover nowadays, I support to keep the world a greener place. Hence, to show my support for a greener world, I bought the nalgene[5] water bottle and joined the pledge to reduce the number of water bottles in landfills. Nalgene water bottles are free from BPA, which makes it suitable to be recycled to create other water bottles, food containers and what not. This pledge is part of the filter for good program [6]. Why I choose the color green, well, I don't know, maybe its because of the greener world effort, or maybe, its just Islamic....:)


After much exercise, Paul and I went to Cheesecake factory to treat ourselves to some sweets. The strawberry cheesecake is the best here in Cheesecake factory. The environment is awesome, but the food is sinful. The cheesecake alone could be like 1000 calorie. But who cares, what's the point of playing hard if you can't enjoy the food. I play hard, I should be allowed to eat like a pig too. So here I am sinking my teeth into me delicious strawberry cheesecake.



References:
[1] http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/endorphins-101-your-guide-natural-euphoria.html?pageNum=2
[2] http://blackdiamondequipment.com/gear/atc_sport.php
[3] http://www.appalachianoutfitters.com/ao/index.asp
[4] http://www.thenorthface.com/catalog/sc-gear/boys-pants-shorts/boys-meridian-surplus-convertible-pant.html
[5] http://www.nalgene-outdoor.com/
[6] http://www.filterforgood.com/login.php

Pinoy puki-puki masarap

Now, some of you might have reach my blog by accident, or you may actually know me--not necessarily mean that I would know you, but who cares. My ramblings are usually about nothing and it never seems important enough to read, and you may already know that about me. Since I'm such a showoff:). But I'm sure you are now reading it to this point, just because you saw the word "puki"[1] and that made you curious. If you are a guy, you're thinking that this entry must be something naughty and dirty, and you just have to find out, right?And if you are a girl, I'm sure you saw the word "puki" and though in a less imaginative state than guys would be, would be as curious and would just like to find out too. So read on....  

Recently, my mind often wonders back home--across the oceans, across the deep blue seas--to my humble home in Shah Alam. Don't know why, but I guess its true what the famous adage says, "there is no place like home", and that it is just normal to miss the place where you grew up. The familiar faces, the familiar decor, the familiar colors and smells that we take for granted from the time moment we were born.

I would like to talk about something delicious. "Pinoy puki-puki masarap" loosely translated means filipinos puki-puki is delicious. But I'm sorry to disappoint all of you, this entry has nothing to do with something dirty and naughty. This entry is about something delicious. Well, wait guys and gals, dont be dirty minded, not that kind of delicious. What I mean by delicious is that puki-puki[2] is a kind of signature dish from phillippines. Now, being half filipino, I was obviously brought up to eat puki-puki almost every week. In fact, puki-puki--sometimes spelled as pooky-pooky, or pookey-pookey--is my favorite dish, and I love it soo much. Whether you decide to eat it with rice, or just spread it on bread, it is still a delicious and healthy dish no matter how you decide to chew it down. Puki-puki can be classified as a vegetable dish, and hence it is good for those of you who wants to keep slim and healthy.

So since I miss home so much, i tried to cook myself puki-puki[2], and another dish called mince beef with potatos, which was also another pinoy cooking that my mom used to make for us.  I started with a recipe given by kak Shima[2] who was also interested in making some puki-puki.

I started by following exactly the recipe given at a website[2]. I started with two nice clean eggplants. And started to grill them on top of a stove. I used to remember mom doing this. She always told me, remember to make sure to burn it until it is charred. So here are some pictures of my silly attempt. 

After it is fully charred, you have to peel the charred eggplant's skin, and get the good tasting eggplant inside.

After that i followed the instructions given in the website[2] and added beaten eggs. I should have just put in one beaten egg, but silly me, I thought more is better, so the output was a bit different from what it should look like. However, it taste as good. 

After puki-puki, i tried the recipe my mom mailed me to make mince beef with potatos. The recipe is attached in the mail snippet below:

-----Mom's mail--------------------------

Ingredients:

1.Garlic -  half clove

2.Onions -  half big

3.Tomatoes - four big

4.Fish sauce -  two laddles

5.Mince beef  -  half kilo 

6.Potatoes  -  three small

7.Oil 

Saute garlic, onions and tomatoes till soft. Add mince beef and the fish sauce , till oil comes out and the beef fried dry. Add water , say four cups and boil . Slow down fire when the water boils and let the soup simmer for fifteen minutes. Add the chopped potatoes  and continue boiling till potatoes are cooked. Add a pince of salt to taste and pepper to taste. Can also add carrots or capsicon.

 

Enjoy cooking. Love Mom

---------------------------------------------

Anyway, after all that cooking, I was ready to eat....my pinoy homecook meal....it was just delicious, you can really taste the charred eggplant taste, and the delightful potatos.:)

Footnote & References:

[1] Puki is a female body part in the Malay language

[2] Puki-puki, http://mines45.multiply.com/recipes

Bau Ketiak masam Tengik Baceyn

Di waktu musim panas (summer), bertambah lah bau ketiak masam tengik baceyn yang datangnya dari sesetengah individu. Hairan sungguh, kalau di musim sejuk(winter), tak ada lah pulak macam nie, tiba saja musim panas nie, bukan nak kata kalau yang berbau tu duduk sebelah kita baru bau, kalau yang sibusuk tu masuk kelas sejam sebelum pun kita boleh tau. Sesungguhnya, bau ketiak ni unique, boleh kenal bau busuk individu yang mana. Saya cukup tak faham, orang yang bau ketiak nie, tak perasan ker dia bau mcm tong sampah basah. Bau macam daging busuk pun ader. Kekadang ader juga yang bau mcm stokin basah busuk direndam dalam bawang masam. Macam-macam bau ader lah.

Tak faham saya, kenapa lah dorang nie? Mandi tu renjis-renjis jer ker? Kalaulah dah tahu bau mcm tong sampah kalau berpeluh, pakailah roll-on dekat ketiak, mandi dan gosok betul-betul dan pakailah syampoo dan minyak wangi. Malah, bukankah best kalau panas-panas nie kita mandi. Bukannya kena bayar pun bill air dekat negara macam Amerika nie.

Saya cerita pasal bau ketiak nie sebab ader lah sorang ni, sahabat X yang sering suka melepak dengan saya. Saya tak kisah lah kalau masa musim sejuk dulu. Tapi baru-baru nie, sungguh kurang menyenangkanlah.  Kekadang, bau ketiak tu sangatlah tengik, sampai sesak nafas saya. Rasa nak muntah pun ader. Malah kalau lalat hinggap pun, mau pitam lalat yang hinggap tu.

Masalah dengan sahabat X nie, mcm maner lah kita nak tegur. Boleh lah cuba-cuba bagi teguran secara halus dan berkias. Tapi boleh pula si X nie, buat tak faham. Takkan lah kita nak cakap kat dia..."Woi, ketiak lu bau macam tong sampah lah oii". Segan pulak lah kawan tu. Ada sekali nie, sahabat X tumpang kereta saya untuk pulang kerumahnya. Saya dah kurang sedap hati, sebab memang tahu lah baunya akan melekat dalam kereta saya. Jadi bila dia masuk tu, saya cepat-cepat buka tingkap keempat-empat tingkap kereta saya. Lepas tu, saya cakaplah..."Awak ada bau tak bau macam tak senang", dengan cara yang berkias-kias bahasa. Dia pula terkerut-kerut dahinya. Saya ingat, dia dapat lah message yang ingin ku sampaikan. Lepas tu dia kata, mungkin pasal kasut  dia yang dah buruk ni,  dah lama dia tak basuh. Ler, ader ker bau kasut pulak. Orang nak bagi tahu dia yang dia bau ketiak, kasut lak yang dia ingat. So, terpaksa lah saya memberi teguran yang kurang berkias sikit, jadi saya tanya lah dia. Awak mandi tak tadi? Mr. X lak pandang saya macam tak faham. Lepas tu tergelak, dan kata, mesti lah mandi, apa kena mengena bau kasut dia dgn mandi nie, dia kata. Ler, tak faham jugak. Sebab tak faham juga, saya pun berputus asa lah nak tegur dia. Saya pun segan nak bagi tahu. Jadi, saya tahan aje lah nafas dan drive laju-laju. Yang pasti, tingkap terbuka dan aircon mesti tutup. 

Saya pun takut juga kalau-kalau bau mcm terung busuk ataupun bawang busuk. Jadi, saya pun pastikan, yang saya selalu mandi dan pastikan baju yang dipakai tu kering dan tak berbau. Ditambah lagi dengan minyak wangi untuk memastikan yang kita nie tak lah berbau tengik. Jadi kepada sahabat-sahabat yang lain, jangan jadi macam sahabat X. Kalau kawan-kawan ader bagi teguran berkias tu, faham-faham jer lah. hehehehe

Summer is here!

Yes, the spring semester is over, and for students like me, its an indication that summer is here. The sun is out and smiling again, the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming and the deers are out and about running in the wild. As the nature surroundings becomes alive, the Kent State University oddly becomes dead. People are on their summer break, parking lots are empty and there is nobody left in the department except for foreign graduate students like myself who dreading the research work that we have to do and administrative staff who just can't wait for the day to be over.

Because of the summer break, some facilities in the Kent State University are close.  They are temporarily close or their hours of operations are shorter. This includes the gym, which is currently closed for maintenance and will reopen on the 26th of May with shorter hours of operation. But that did not stop me from my daily routine. So rather than going swimming, Paul (my exercise buddy) and myself started the habit of running. At about 6.30, I would park my car at the department, and we would run to a reserve park own by the biology department for ecological research here in Kent. I believe the park is used by the ecology and biology researchers, but it has  a nice trail for the public to use and run and enjoy the outdoors. The trail brings us all the way to the Kent State DIX football stadium. 

Along the trail, there are blooming flowers, and sometimes, we are lucky enough to see a deer enjoying the green during the summer. We tried to get closer to the deer, however, it got scared and ran away disappearing in the midst of the forest. I guess, deers are not very social beings. Along the trail, there are also a few rabbits, ducks and gooses running around. We are not the only ones running though, some people cycle, some veterans walk romantically together, and there are also young couples walking their dogs. Most of the time you see single jocks running with their Ipod.

We usually head back before 8 since it would be almost dark by then. Anyways, can't wait for the gym to be open again. While it is nice to run outdoors, i do suffer from allergies, and outdoor running just make my eyes puff up and my nose clog up. :) So that's it, a short update from me. I know I haven't written anything in my blog for  a while, I have been busy with research work and all. So buh-bye for now...and see you later on my next blog entry.

Kata-kata terakhir Lukman

Baru-baru ini, saya mendapat email yang mengingatkan sahabat ku semasa membuat MBA dahulu. Email tersebut datangnya dari sahabat ku Razali  dan bersama email tersebut, dia menyertakan hasil tulisan sahabat ku Lukman,  yang saya berpeluang mengenalinya semasa mengambil MBA bersama.

Saya tidak lah begitu rapat dengan Saudara Lukman, kerasa Lukman adalah seorang yang introvert, pendiam, dah bersopan santun orangnya. Namun, dia memang baik dan sering menegur dengan senyumannya yang ikhlas dan manis. Pada pandangan saya, dia juga seorang yang sangat bijak. Saya sering mengambil perhatian apabila Lukman memberi pandangannya. Walaupun jarang bercakap, tapi bila bercakap, memang berisi. Saya percaya, sahabat2 lain pun mempunyai pandangan yang sama terhadap Lukman seperti saya.

Lukman merupakan seorang Lecturer yang hampir memperolehi PhD-nya. Saya percaya, jika Lukman menjadi seorang tenaga pengajar, Lukman mungkin akan menjadi seorang Professor yang akan banyak berbakti kepada anak2 muda dan negara Malaysia. Namun, setelah tamat MBA, Lukman didapati mengidap penyakit kanser. Tahun lepas, Lukman meninggal dunia dan berita terkejut itu membuat sahabat2 kelas MBA kami sangat sedih. 

Didalam email yang baru saya dapat ini, ada disertakan hasil tulisan nya. Hasil tulisannya original dan datangnya dari hati. Terasa sebak dihati bila membaca hasil tulisan Lukman. Memang seorang yang kreatif, dan mempunyai bakat seorang karyawan. Disini juga, saya akan menghormati hasil kerjanya, dan memberikan luangan blog saya ini untuk menyampaikan pesanannya kepada rakan2. Semoga kata-kata terakhirnya boleh memberi manfaat kepada orang lain. 

Kepada Lukman, seorang yang berbakti, baik dan dihormati, terima kasih utk kata2 akhir mu.....dan semoga mu selamat dan gembira bersama Allah.

AKU CAPEK YA ALLAH

Besarnya dugaanMu kepadaku Ya Allah

Sehinggakan ke tahap aku terasa betapa capeknya aku

Tidak ku jangka begini tahap ujianMu kepada ku Ya Allah

Bermula ujianMu satu persatu terhadapku

Berikanlah kekuatan untuk aku menghadapi semua ini Ya Allah

Hanya kepadaMu aku sembah dan kepadaMu jua ku pohon pertolongan

Berikanlah aku jalan keluar Ya Allah.

Tidak ingin ku tempoh perjalanan sebegini lagi.

Sememangnya aku sudah capek Ya Allah.

------------------------

Jalan Kebun,

1 November 2008

1.03pm

Ku tetap yakin dengan qadak dan qadarMu Ya Allah.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 MALAM INI – LAILATUL QADR

Hadirnya pada salah satu malam-malam ini

Kutunggu

Kupohon kepadaNya

Agar dikurniakan ku kelebihan malam ini

Malam yang lebih baik dari seribu bulan

Mungkin aku tidak punyai tempoh ini

Untuk beribadah kepadaNya

Kupohon kepadaNya

Agar dikurniakan ku keselamatan pada malam ini

Malam yang lebih baik dari seribu bulan

Mungkin aku tidak punyai tempoh ini

Untuk beribadah kepadaNya

Hadirnya

Kutunggu!

-----------------------------

Bank Rakyat

8 Sept 2008 / 8 Ramadhan 1429H

11.20am

Meyakini firman Allah dalam surah al-Qadr. 

Kupohan agar diberikan segala kelebihan malam ini.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DAERAH INI SUNYI

Daerah ini sunyi

Tidak pernah ku ke sini

Cuma pernah diperingati

Akhirnya nanti ku kan ke sini

Daerah ini sunyi

Tiada teman di kala sepi

Hanya amalan yang memungkini

Nikmat atau azab yang bakal menemani

Daerah yang sementara ini

Mengingatkankan ku pada yang telah pergi

Sebelum aku lagi

Pada ayahanda yang sentiasa ku kenangi

Dalam daerah yang sunyi ini

Moga ku ketemu ayahanda di sini

Dalam redha dan lindungan Ilahi

Hingga ke mahsyar nanti

--------------------------------

Idaman Sutera

6 Sept 2008 / 6 Ramadhan1429H

745pagi

Mengenang ayahandaku yang telah pergi, takkan kembali. 

Ku akan menyusul nanti. Itu pasti.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KU KETEMU RAMADHAN LAGI

Dalam syukurku kepada Mu Ilahi

Panjang usia ku hingga kini

Dapat kutambah amalan lagi

Satu Ramadhan lagi

Ramadhan yang lepas mengimbau kembali

Dapatkah usia ku menginjak ke Ramadhan ini

Kesihatanku yang tidak memungkini

Alhamdulillah, kini ku di Ramadhan ini

Moga Kau berikan segala kekuatan

Untuk ku menambah amalan

Sebagai bekalan

Di hari kemudian

Yang tiada keraguan

------------------------------------

Idaman Sutera

6 Sept 2008 / 6 Ramadhan 1429H

758pagi

Mensyukuri nikmat kesihatan yang diberi. 

Dipanjangkan umurku hingga kini. 

Ketika Ramadhan yang lepas, 

ku tidak pasti dapat sampai ke Ramadhan ini.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Like Poetry in Motion

It has been a few weeks of stress for me. Life has been really busy building my prototype for my device. For weeks, I slept late, and woke up early. Finally, last week, I have deployed my prototype, and it was working about 70% of the time. Anyhow, it was good enough to retrieve the data required for my paper. But today I won't be talking about my silly inventions, I will blog about my embedded sensor device much later. 

Today, I'll be talking about swimming. After all that hard work, I decided to revitalise myself with some swimming and running. Unfortunately, the second day I went to the pool, I lost my goggles. The next day I went swimming without goggles, I thought it was no big deal. After all, it's just water. However, after the swim, my eyes was blood shot red. The chlorine in the pool water made my eyes very dry and irritated. It felt like I had sand in my eyes. Driving home was difficult cause my eyes was watery and it is as if I was crying. If a police had stopped me then, he would be wondering why is this grown up man crying like a baby. But it was really bad, and I had to wash my eyes with clean unclorinated water for a while to get rid of the dryness in my eyes.

So the next day, before going swimming, I went to Aurora outlet stores to get some new goggles. I know I've seen Nike outlet store selling pretty cool looking goggles. I tried a few goggles and I decided to get the competition style goggles.

No, I'm not trying to be Michael Phelps, but I would like to eventually be as fit and good looking as he is. I would definitely skip his habit on smoking pot though. 

What I got was the Nike Remora M goggles. It fits well and has a nice metallic shade.  The goggles look and feel like sunglasses when you wear it. Of course it was a bit dark, but its not like I'm out to check out babes at the pool :p. 

The high content of chlorine also made my hair very dry. My friend Paul who goes swimming with me, told me that I should wear a swimming cap. I didn't want to get one at first since I see no point of wasting money that way. But Paul convinced me that if I didn't wear one, I would risk losing hair. What did he say, "I can lose hair". Noway, I don't want to add the risk to my thinning hair, so I was convinced to get a swimming cap. I got a gray cap to match my goggles. 

I couldn't wait to try out my new gear in the water. I even tested it at home, just to check out how it feels. It felt great, and I can't wait to try it out. So the next day, I was ready to brave the waters again. It was amazing what good goggles can do to improve your swimming. I was able to do 8 laps none stop with the new goggles, and the cap just adds some aerodynamics that help me glide on the water like poetry in motion. I never had to stop to get the water out of my goggles. There was no leaking and I was almost swimming like a pro. Almost that is, my style was a bit off, but I'm happy at my performance so far. Hope to improve more as I get to practice more comfortably with all these new swimming gears.

Mind your language

Baru-baru ini saya mendapat email di mailing-list tentang berita rakyat Malaysia membantah Pengajaran dan Pembelajaran Sains dan Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris (PPSMI). Petikan berita ini boleh didapati di laman web Utusan Malaysia. Bila cerita tentang mempelajari bahasa Inggeris, teringat pula saya cerita "Mind Your Language". Walaupun mereka rakyat asing, masing-masing berani mempelajarinya, tanpa segan silu walaupun penuh dengan kesilapan. Tetapi, rakyat Malaysia pula kurang berani dan segan untuk menerima kesilapan.

Sayang sekali saya melihat rakyat Malaysia, berarak untuk membantah program PPSMI ini. Perarakan ini bermula dari Masjid Negara dengan ribuan penyokong kearah Istana Negara. Ramai antara ribuan penyokong bantahan PPSMI mungkin sekali orang melayu yang beragama Islam. Apakah kita telah lupa bahawa agama Islam mengalakkan orang Islam untuk memperolehi ilmu. Bukankah perubahan ini sejajar dengan ajaran agama Islam, agar orang Islam dapat mempelajari ilmu sains dan matematik dengan lebih mudah?

Apa yang menjadi isu ialah ada yang mengatakan setelah 6 tahun, program ini telah gagal untuk meningkatkan mutu pelajaran, terutamanya kepada penduduk luar bandar. Sememangnya, penduduk bandar lagi selesa berbahasa dalam bahasa inggeris, dan ini memberikan kelebihan kepada pelajar-pelajar di bandar.

Namun, tibalah masa untuk orang melayu berhenti merungut dan mula menghadapi perubahan. Perubahan juga merupakan satu revolusi, dan tidak semestinya kena mengena dengan politik. Perlulah orang melayu kita, terutamanya pelajar luar bandar, mengambil cabaran ini. Sebagai orang Islam, kita perlulah mencuba mengharungi cabaran ini, agar kita boleh mengikuti sunnah dan cuba mendalami apa jua ilmu yang tuhan telah berikan kepada kita. Berhijrahlah kepada kemajuan, berhijrahlah kearah membentuk rakyat melayu Islam yang maju dan berilmu.

Jangan kita biarkan orang mempolitikkan isu ini. Janganlah kita biarkan isu-isu kecil menjadi musuh untuk kita mencapai matlamat kita yang lebih besar. Janganlah orang melayu lari dari cabaran kerana takut akan gagal mempelajari bahasa inggeris. Sejak bilakah orang melayu ini jadi penakut. Bukankah orang melayu ini pantang dicabar. Tetapi mengapa bila dicabar akalnya, kita tidak pula mengasah keris mental kita dan menghayunkan dan menunjukkan ketajaman akal kita.

Saya tahu ada yang takut akan jati diri melayu kita akan hilang. Tetapi, Melayu itu bukannya pada bahasa sahaja. Melayu yang tidak berilmu, akan menjadi hamba bangsa asing. Melayu yang lemah akalnya akan mudah dijajah. Bangsa Melayu yang lemah akan gagal mempertahankan budaya Melayu dan cara hidupnya. Melayu yang enggan mengambil cabaran perubahan revolusi ilmu, akan akhirnya hilang dari bumi ditelan dunia moden.

Demi negara ku, tanah air ku, Malaysia ku tersayang.
Harap rakyat menjadi lebih berani untuk mencapai revolusi ilmu.

Tupperware Wifi Gateway

I needed some kind of wireless router to work outdoors. So I used the embedded chip and programmed it to work as a router. I didn't have time to make it look nice and sexy, so the first thing I thought of was using a tupperware. Hey, it says that the GLAD tupperware is microwave safe and dish washer safe. So I'm sure I can put it outdoors without any problems. I thought this Tupperware Wifi Gateway looks funny and decided to share it with you. It's suppose to eventually be more than just a gateway, but I'm still working on that. As for now, I'm trying to make it more portable. It's hard carrying this thing around with wires hanging everywhere.

Until my work is done, this terrible looking prototype is what i have to work with while adding more functionality to the device. But for now, this thing should work and help me play around with it a little bit more, until I get a proper casing for it that is...

Bergaya di musim bunga

Entri kali ini adalah mengenai fesyen pakaian dimusim bunga. Jarang sekali kedengaran lelaki menceritakan isu-isu fesyen pakaian. Saya bukanlah seorang yang mahir mengenai fesyen seperti Rizalman, gaya fesyen saya hanya terhad kepada gaya Rizalnor dan saya cuba seberapa baik untuk bergaya dengan perbelanjaan yang berpatutan. Walaupun fesyen pakaian bukannya kepentingan utama hidup, tetapi ia juga tidak salah diberikan keutamaan sekali sekala. Objektifnya bukanlah semata-mata untuk mendapatkan perhatian tetapi fesyen pakaian dan gaya bagi saya adalah penting untuk kesihatan diri mental. Jika kita merasakan diri ini lebih menarik dan bergaya, ia juga boleh meningkat "self-esteem" penghargaan diri seseorang itu. Memakai seluar dan baju yang berfesyen kini dan bergaya boleh membuat diri lebih berharga. Bukanlah saya hendak mengatakan bahawa berjubah itu kurang bergaya, tetapi, jika kena tempatnya, berbaju jubah juga ada gayanya. Apa yang saya tahu, dinegara Arab, jubah itu merupakan pakaian yang sesuai di tanah Arab. Oleh yang demikian, terdapat berbagai-bagai fesyen dan kain yang dijual, dan harganya juga semahal pakaian-pakaian jenama barat.

Walaupun jarang pergi membeli-belah, saya juga mengambil masa untuk mendapatkan pakaian untuk menyedapkan hati. Hari ini, saya telah mengambil masa untuk pergi mencari kedai jualan elektronik "Circuit City". Khabar berita, "Circuit City" akan menutup kedainya dan kini sedang cuba melelong barang-barang elektroniknya. Malang sekali, saya telah terlambat, dan nampaknya semua kedai "Circuit City" telah pun ditutup. Oleh yang demikian, saya mengambil kesempatan ini untuk berhenti sahaja di kedai factory outlet yang berdekatan.

Saya bersiar-siar melihat pakaian-pakaian di kedai kegemaran saya seperti di Calvin Klein, Nike, Banana Republic dan GAP. Oleh kerana musim bunga sudah hampir, cuaca disini kurang menentu. Ada kalanya, sejuk dan sangat dingin dan pada masa lain pula cuaca disini tiba-tiba terasa panas. Itulah sebabnya penting untuk memakai pakaian yang berlapis-lapis kerana jika cuaca diluar tiba-tiba bertukar dari sejuk ke panas, boleh kita menanggalkan lapisan baju supaya tidak terlalu panas, dan jika cuaca diluar tiba-tiba sahaja menjadi sejuk, boleh sahaja kita menambahkan lapisan baju itu. Oleh yang demikian, pakaian yang paling sesuai ialah baju thermal.

Baju thermal ini adalah baju yang kita pakai dilapisan pertama. Baju thermal akan cuba memerangkap haba dikulit. Jika pergi membeli belah baju thermal, penting untuk mendapatkan baju yang muat-muat badan, agar ianya akan melekat dikulit. Objektifnya bukanlah untuk menunjukkan bentuk badan yang seksi, tetapi ianya berfungsi untuk memerangkap haba badan. Di atas baju thermal, dilapisan kedua, akan kita pakai lapisan "sweater" baju panas dan diatas lapisan "sweater" baju panas, akan kita pakai jaket pakaian sejuk. Jika cuaca tiba-tiba bertukar menjadi panas, kita boleh menanggalkan jaket, ataupun "sweater" baju panas yang dipakai.

Dimusim bunga ini juga, haruslah kita mencari baju yang warnanya lebih terang dan berani ataupun lebih kepada warna alam sekitar "earthly colors". Jadi apa yang saya dapatkan ialah warna biru muda terang. Color ini sesuai dengan keindahan kebiruan di langit. Jika dipadankan dengan "sweater" merah, ianya hampir seperti tema warna Superman. Baju thermal ini boleh dibeli di kedai GAP dan diwaktu sekarang ini, ianya dijual dengan diskaun 30%.

Untuk pakaian yang berwarna alam sekitar "earthly colors". Saya mendapatkan seluar ala-ala jeans kuning tanah dan baju thermal hijau daun. Baju dan seluar ini juga boleh dibeli di kedai GAP yang berdekatan. Di waktu gawat ekonomi ini, banyak kedai yang sedang menjalankan jualan murah untuk meningkatkan jualan mereka. Jadi inilah waktu yang sesuai untuk membeli-belah.

Untuk tiga helai pakaian ini, saya belanja lebih kurang USD40. Bagi saya, harga ini berpatutan. Kalau di Kuala Lumpur pun, membeli 3 helai pakaian dikedai GAP mampu melebihi nilai RM160. Cuma disini, tiap-tiap musim haruslah menukar pakaian untuk keselesaan diri dan sesuai dengan perubahan musim.

Slow and furious

I know this entry sounds and looks a bit too technical for the normal reader, but, I have tone it down as much as I can. I will give the technical details if there are people interested, and if there are people as geeky, I will take the time to post it on mydebian.blogspot.com at the latest convenience. Besides this entry is not about showing off my technical prowess, but more about how slow things have been progressing with my research.

Over the winter break, my embedded board finally arrived. I was excited to play around with it and hack on the open embedded Linux distribution on it. So as soon as I got back into the lab, I assembled it together. It comes in 2 pieces of embedded sticks that you can clip together with a module to attach the wireless 802.11 module. There was already a loaded kernel on it, and it seems to be able to detect everything nicely. The first thing I did, was booting the kernel through the RS232 port using Kermit and it was like a turn on looking at all the modules being loaded. This device is small, yet packed with a whole lot of sweet goodies that I can play with and savor every moment of the different flavors of potential hacking. I'm like a kid with a whole new pack of candy, and it gave me a similar feeling to being sugar high. It took me about a few minutes to edit /etc/network/interfaces with vi and get wifi working on it. Unfortunately, no emacs on it yet. Which will change soon, once I am able to mount my SD memory card on it, I will get emacs going and i can forget about using the cumbersome "esc-shift-:q!" command that I hate so much on vi.

Simply said, I need to do a lot of non-standard stuff on the embedded board. I needed to do some things on the board which may require me to do a lot more hacking than just getting wifi to work. So, I wasted no time, and downloaded the kernel source code from the svn repository. I've set up the environment, and tried to compile a fresh new kernel image for the embedded board. Unfortunately, the compile was full of errors and hence I am now without an image I can use to boot the board. I thought it was a trivial thing. But after hours spending time reading mailing-list for support, and googling around, I have no answers but just complains about the same problem. Apparently, everybody else are having the same problem. I've been digging around for solutions, but things have been moving really slow. Too slow and its making me pissed off...in fact furious.

My research would also require me to write some device drivers. Mainly for the real-time clock, sensor devices and creating my own real-time applications to compile with an implementation of my own real-time scheduling. So I'm slowly sourcing some of the devices. One of the first devices I got was a RS232 to SDI-12 converter. Unfortunately, I have bricked the first one we got. I think I somehow burned it with a wrong ground input, since it no longer respond to any of my messages. So my supervisor bought another 2 of these just to make sure that if I blow up one, I still have a spare one to work for my project. The moment it arrived, I was excited to get to work again. But my lousy luck again, both of it was not working. I'm pissed, again, how can they shipped over two devices that are not working. I mean, what are the chances to have both of them being faulty. So now, I will have to wait again for a replacement. Which will take me another week. All this delay is making things progressing really slow. So what else can I say about life here, things are just moving slow and furious.

Ketagihan kelemahan manusia

Ini merupakan percubaan kali kedua saya untuk meningkatkan lagi bakat di dalam berbahasa ibunda. Dengan cara ini, saya percaya kita dapat mengekalkan jati diri melayu, disamping menakluki ilmu globalisasi dunia.

Topik yang ingin saya sampaikan kali ini ialah mengenai isu ketagihan. Jika ingin dibicarakan mengenai isu ini, sememangnya terdapat berbagai-bagai ragam dan cara. Manusia ini sememangnya tiada yang sempurna. Walaupun kita sentiasa berusaha untuk menjadi lebih sempurna, namun ada sahaja kelemahan di dalam diri setiap manusia tanpa kita sedari,

Selama ini saya percaya bahawa saya mampu melakukan apa sahaja aktiviti yang saya gemari. Mungkin hanya tinggal beberapa sahaja aktiviti lain yang masih belum saya lakukan seperti "sky diving", "ice climbing" dan banyak lagi. Namun, Seperti manusia lain, saya juga mempunyai pelbagai kelemahan. Salah satu kelemahan saya ialah ketagihan merokok. Sudah hampir beberapa kali saya mencuba untuk berhenti merokok. Namun, paling lama yang saya mampu bertahan hanyalah 3 hari. Itupun setelah habis mengigil dan mengigit kuku jari tangan kerana tidak mampu untuk bertahan. Mungkin jika masuk hari ke empat, berkemungkinan saya akan menggigil sehingga menggigit kuku jari kaki saya pula. Bagi saya, ketagihan merokok ini terlalu sukar untuk diatasi. Jikalau tidak, masakan syarikat rokok semuanya mampu menjadi kaya raya. Saya percaya, untuk berhenti merokok adalah terlalu sukar dan merupakan cabaran yang paling hebat. Lebih hebat berbanding belajar untuk mendapatkan PhD. Ketagihan ini juga sudah pastinya menjadi kelemahan ramai lagi lelaki-lelaki macho di luar sana yang mana jika dicabar untuk bergaduh, sudah pasti mereka berani untuk bertumbuk. Tetapi jika dicabar untuk berhenti merokok, pasti mereka tidak mampu bertahan terutamaya sewaktu “melabur” di dalam tandas.

Bukan itu sahaja, malahan terdapat pelbagai lagi ketagihan yang dihadapi oleh kaum lelaki. Seperti yang telah saya nyatakan, ketagihan ini terdapat di dalam berbagai-bagai cara dan jenis. Ada ketagihan pada arak, ketagihan pada dadah dan jugak ketagihan pada wanita. Walau bagaimanapun, masih terdapat ketagihan lain yang jarang kita dengar seperti ketetagihan berlagak alim yang mana seseorang itu perlu untuk menunjuk-nunjuk kepada orang lain bahawa dirinya itu adalah seorang yang alim. Saya mengkategorikan ianya sebagai ketagihan, kerana individu yang berlagak alim ini sememangnya perlu membuat orang lain merasakan bahawa dirinya itu seorang yang alim dan perlu dihormati hanya untuk membuat drinya merasa selesa. Samalah seperti merokok, di mana seseorang itu, perlu merokok hanya untuk membuat dirinya merasa selesa.

Bukan kaum lelaki saja yang mempunyai ketagihan-ketagihan ini. Malahan, ada juga ketagihan lain yang secara umumnya terdapat pada kaum wanita. Tetapi jangan salah sangka kerana kaum lelaki juga mempunyai ketagihan seperti ini. Contohnya, ketagihan mengumpat. Saya mengkategorikan mengumpat ini sebagai satu ketagihan, kerana terdapat beberapa individu yang sememangnya perlu untuk mengumpat hanya untuk membuat dirinya merasa selesa. Jika sehari tidak mengata perihal orang lain, sememangnya membuat dia merasa gatal dan tidak senang duduk sehingga terpaksa menggigit kuku jari. Ketagihan seperti ini sememangnya banyak terdapat di syarikat saya dahulu.

Bukan itu sahaja malahan ada juga yang lebih daripada mengumpat seperti suka membuat cerita perihal orang lain lalu di tokok tambah pula dengan mitos-mitosnya yang tersendiri seperti memburuk-burukkan orang lain dan sebagainya. Bila berkesempatan, ada sahaja modal mereka untuk memburukkan orang lain lalu mengheboh-hebohkan cerita kepada semua orang. Kononnya itu merupakan tanggungjawabnya sebagai seorang yang beriman dan warak. Baginya, sebagai seorang Muslim, dia perlu mengambil tindakan yang kononnya tidak dia ingini sama sekali. Padahal dia cuba berlindung disebalik alasan yang kononya dia tidak sesekali ingin menceritakan perihal buruk orang lain tetapi terpaksa kerana baginya perkara itu terlalu buruk dan mengakibatkan dirinya terpaksa memberitahu semua orang yang dia kenali. Padahal, sekiranya betul dia itu seorang yang beriman dan warak, sudah tentu dia akan menegur dengan sendiri setiap perbuatan buruk yang dilakukan oleh orang lain tanpa perlu membawa cerita dan akan cuba mempertahankan maruah individu tersebut dari tersebar luas. Tetapi, yang sebenarnya apa yang dilakukan itu bukan lah kerana kewarakannya, tetapi kerana ketagihannya. Jika tidak diceritakan kepada orang dan memburuk-burukkan orang lain, maka menjadikan hidupnya tidak senang duduk sama sekali.

Sememangnya Allah telah menciptakan manusia penuh dengan kelemahan. Masing-masing mempunyai kelemahan dan ketagihannya yang tersendiri. Cubalah kita fikirkan sejenak mengenai ketagihan lain yang tanpa sedar kita miliki. Jika kita tidak mampu untuk menghapuskannya, cukuplah sekadar menyedarinya agar menjadi satu tahap permulaan untuk kita cuba mengatasinya.

Diharapkan penulisan saya pada kali ini tidaklah berbunyi seperti warga Indonesia yang ingin berbahasa Melayu Malaysia.....

--Telah disunting semula oleh my beloved Editor 16/02/2009

Joey's Unproven Theory of Heroes Reality

A while back I was reading Scientific American Report while taking a dump in the toilet and an article really light up a bulb in my head. The article that I read, had nothing to do with this blog entry, but with a little sprinkle of my silly imagination, and Eureka....behold Joey's Unproven Theory of Heroes Reality.

My unproven theory states that by 2100 man will start to evolve to be super humans with abilities far beyond what we are capable today. Man will take an image of god, being more perfect beings with abilities far beyond our ancestors. I'm sure all of you have seen the famous tv series Heroes. Where some genetic anamoly in the human race are creating exceptional beings with abilities to fly, telekinesis, time and space manipulation, spontaneous freezing and combustion, mind control, mind reading, midas touch, electromagnetic and etc. Well, I'm not saying that we will reach these abilities so soon, but may infact somehow reach closely to these abilities and evolve slowly through time.

I came to this theory with a few insights from the article "Rise of The Robots" by Hans Moravec in Scientific American Reports, May 6, 2008. Typically, scientist believe that computers maybe fast enough to do computation as fast as our synaptic nervous tissue are able to create impulses. Our nervous tissue is what creates our brain where all our memory and ability to think occur. A monkey's intelligence for example is equivalent to 5 million MIPS(Millions Instructions per second). A computer with this speed, can surely replace some of the people working in the government sector...hehehe. But how much speed do we need to replace human beings. In another article, "The Coming Merging of Mind and Machine", Scientific American Reports May 6, 2008 predicts that it takes 10 to the power of 15 to have a processing speed of a human brain. If we are able to download a human's brain into a computer of this speed, we may also say that we have already made a computer conscious. By 2060, the typical computer would have a processing speed of all the human brains combined in the world.

If this is true, computers are able to create robots with brain power much more than all the professors exist in the world. Well educated robots may function as scientist working diligently, cheaply, rapidly and increasingly effectively will ensure that most of what science knows in 2050 will have been discovered by our own artificial progeny.
This sounds like a science fiction story, but it is not impossible. Once we all thought that flying to the moon is impossible. By 2060 we may become gods by creating our own Adam and Eve and create a new generation of a robot race.

It won't be long when we will have to compete with our own creation for survival at work, sports, and scientific findings. It won't be long when our own creation will eventually choose to be closer to their creators, to follow the image of their god, which is humans. They will create biologically advance biocybernatic beings that far exceed the robots that we create.

By 2100, humans will soon have to compete with this super robot beings. And the human race may even perish from the face of earth where we are known as gods....but only exist as incorrect historical data like the idea we have about Zeus, Aries, and what not. But the human race are not as fragile as we think. We are very flexible and we have the ability to evolve. I don't think we will go away so easily. It is said that the human race only uses 5% of their brain's potential. In fact, some in my work place, even uses much less than 5%...hehehe. So there is another 95% of untap power which we have not evolved yet. According to Darwin theory of evolution, a process of natural selection is what makes monkeys evolve into human beings. Now, there have been a lot of arguments here, but we shall not dwell on it today. But, if this theory is true, the instability of the norm, where human's are complacent, will have to change. Natural selection can occur again, and only the smartest and strongest human beings will survive. And slowly but surely, genetic contruction of a more perfect being will evolve, slowly but surely. The evolve human being will use much more percentage of their brain. One that would have abilities to maybe to do computation as fast as machines, one that are capable to run faster than a cheetah. There is no telling what new abilities we may able to discover by tapping more potential of our brain. Maybe telekinesis, time and space manipulation or even spontaneous combustion....

Will heroes become a reality? We can only wait till 2100 to prove Joey's Unproven Theory of Heroes Reality.

IdeaPad S10

Sebelum pulang ke Malaysia December lepas, saya telah mengambil peluang cyber sale sempena hari christmas yang diadakan dengan besar-besaran di Amerika Syarikat untuk membeli sebuah laptop baru untuk kegunaan peribadi saya. Mahupun laptop lama saya itu masih elok digunakan, namun ianya telah kelihatan usang, dan lebih baik diberikan kepada Kakak saya supaya dia boleh mengemas kinikan laman web facebooknya dengan mudah.

Laptop yang saya beli ialah Ideapad Lenovo S10. Ramai yang hairan mengapakah saya beli laptop yang sebegitu kecil sebegini. Kuasa processornya tidak lah begitu pantas dan screen terlalu kecil untuk keselesaan membuat kerja. Tetapi, objektif saya untuk membeli laptop Ultra Mobile PC ini ialah kerana ianya adalah begitu mobile. Mobiliti merupakan salah satu ciri yang penting yang saya perlukan dalam sebuah laptop. Kalau hendak cerita pasal laptop yang memberikan mobiliti yang paling maksimum, memanglah pilihan pertama saya ialah Sony Vaio ultra slim yang ringan lagi nipis. Namun harganya adalah terlalu mahal untuk saya perolehi, lebih kurang yang paling murah pun RM6k+. Laptop harga ribu riban ni kalau hilang memang menangis. Jadi, aper yang saya beli ialah Ideapad Lenovo S10, yang hanya 400usd. Ia adalah kecil, ringan dan processornya dicipta khas untuk berfungsi dengan menggunakan kuasa batteri yang paling minima. Lenovo S10 mampu berfungsi tanpa batteri selama 3 jam, dan dengan menggunakan batteri expansion, boleh bertahan selama 6-9 jam.

Adalah menjadi kebiasaan saya untuk pergi kemana saja bersama laptop. Yang penting laptop itu ada kebolehan untuk menggunakan wifi, dan ianya cukup ringan supaya boleh diangkut kemana saja saya pergi. Dengan camera built-in yang mudah untuk saya berhubung dengan keluarga tersayang dan buah hati. Saya juga sering mengembara, jadi kuasa batteri yang lama adalah penting bagi seorang pengembara seperti saya. Setelah 3 bulan menggunakan Ideapad S10 ini, dengan default installationnya iaitu Windows XP, saya tidak tahan lagi dan ingin memasukan perisian Debian Linux. Ini adalah kerana saya lebih selesa membuat kerja programming diatas linux dari menggunakan windows. Hari minggu yang sunyi ini, saya telah menggambil masa beberapa jam untuk mengisikan Debian linux keatas laptop ini. Segala maklumat terperinci untuk memasukkan perisian debian linux saya dokumenkan di mydebian.

Bila dirumah, saya sambungkan laptop kecil ini ke sebuah monitor, tetikus usb dan keyboard usb. Ini adalah kerana, untuk kegunaan berjam-jam dirumah, memang sakit mata melihat screennya hanya 10 inchi dan resolutionnya hanya 1024x600. Untuk seorang yang sering bergerak, laptop ini memang sesuai. Jika bukan sebab mobiliti, laptop ini terlalu kecil umpama mainan sahaja. Lebih elok beli laptop dell yang boleh dibeli dgn usd500++.

Back to work!!!

Its been a while since I've wrote anything on my blog. The last time I wrote anything was right before finals. Then I got too busy. Nope, not busy with work, but busy having fun. I traveled back home to Malaysia and had a good time. They say home is where there is people thinking of you. Yes, I miss home, I miss my family, my cousins, I miss the weather, I miss my friends, I miss the food.

But it was not long and I had to go back to Ohio and start work. But before I started work, I just had to get the vacation mood out of my system. So I went snow boarding. Yes, I figured, I have to do this first before I really start work. And so I did.

I used to remember being really good at snow boarding. Or maybe I thought I was good at it. For some reason, snow boarding is easier to me than skiing. I've learned a while back that me on skis can be very clumsy. I just can't handle two pieces of planks stuck to the bottom of my feet. I feel like a duck learning how to walk. But snow boarding comes naturally. One plank is definitely easier to handle than two. A while back I remembered falling many times and feel no pain. A while back I can go down a double black diamond with no fear. A while back I can flip in the half pipe with no concern in my mind other than how cool I'd look at the tip of the pipe.


But I soon realized that maybe I was not so good before. Or maybe the air here is like kryptonite making me weak. Or could it be the snow here is far different from Philly. Or could it be, by a remote chance that I am getting old? Neah.....that couldn't be it. So after a few tries on the staging hill, I figured I'm fully calibrated and ready to handle the fiercest hill in the valley. I used to be able to handle a double black diamond. So how much harm can a single black diamond hill do to me, right? So after taking the lift up the hill, I went for the advanced black diamond hill called TIGER. It sounds fierce enough.....and "ONE" should be careful going down a black diamond hill....especially "ONE" who comes not from a country where there's a winter season. But maybe that "ONE"...is not for Joey. Me being me arrogant self again thinks I'm superman and was eager to fly down the hill.


I slowly approach the tip of the slope and position myself in a cool stance preparing myself. As I cut the snow down the hill, the first few seconds, I was looking good. Then suddenly the speed catch up really fast...and I.....wooopppsss....Well, I flew alright...I flew down the hill like no other. I flew down the hill backwards and upside down.....Like Jack I came down the hill tumbling over and over, just without the bucket.

It was a nice session snow boarding. However, I was aching all over. I seem to have hurt my wrist much from the impact I take during a fall. And the moment I reach home, I was so exhausted I slept straight away, only to wake up realizing bruises here and there.

The next day was even worst, besides the bruises, I got myself a flu and fever.
Well, I guess now I need recovery time before I start work. This sick time will help me get out of the vacation mood definitely.